The other day I had an long, interesting, and a lovely phone call with a person for whom I have a great deal of respect (and for whom you probably do, too). They wanted to chat about what they framed as the "volume" of my message and brought up a great many really good points about the way that I vent over the internet about every damn bee which accidentally flies into my bonnet.
The conversation was wide ranging, but perhaps the key point they were trying to make is the old axiom: you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. I don't know why you'd want flies to begin with... ... perhaps I should just lay off the insect analogies.
I am nihilistic misanthrope. That comes across loudly when I complain about every damn thing under the sun; but the fact is, despite not being comfortable around people, I do hope for the best for everyone around me. Even those I dislike, it is my enduring hope that they find happiness and comfort and whatever it is they want in the world (just... over there... away from me).
At one point in the conversation they asked whether I had some sort of personal problem with this or that person. There is actually only a single human being I personally know in this world who I truly hate, who I truly see no redeeming qualities to whatsoever (if you're reading this... I guarantee it isn't you). So, "No," I answered honestly, I don't really have personal problems with anyone.
What I have are, mostly, safety concerns. About bloody everything. About some things/techniques/people/groups more than others. These are the things which I longwindedly try to communicate my thoughts on with varying effectiveness.
Before my first rebreather instructor accepted me as a student he sat me down and very soberly told me, "If you are going to do this, you need to recognize that you are going to have friends die. That you might watch friends die. That YOU may die. You need to be comfortable with that."
He was right. About the first two, so far. And not only as pertains to rebreathers.
I am still not comfortable with it, though. At least, I don't accept that it has to be an inevitability. Any time we go underwater we are playing the odds. The question is how resolutely do we tip the odds in our favor?
What I see so often, what I rail about so loudly, is that there are agencies/people/groups/styles/philosophies/etc which are awfully cavalier. We have all seen them. Instructors saying, "We're not supposed to do this, but you'll be ok," or mentors allowing divers not quite up to their own level join them on dives for which they aren't really prepared.
If you see something, say something, right?
Weeeeeelllllllll.......
Diving is funny, isn't it. It's a whole bunch of alpha personalities which have paradoxically fragile egos. What's more, it's a very small world of a luxury pastime operating on a razor-thin margin where business relationships and friendships are a very tightly drawn Venn diagram. Sometimes saying something can cause a rift in the friendship which will fuck with the business. It can be dangerous.
That doesn't really apply to me, though. I'm not going to claim "I'm better than that" or some other such hogwash. It's just that I am not really "in the industry" the way a manufacturer or an agency or a full-time instructor is. I don't have clients or business partners I might offend and am not constrained in the same ways.
So when I see something, I DO say something. Often these diatribes are triggered by conversations I've had with people (case in point, this very diatribe by a phone call the other day). What it comes down to is that I can talk, feel like my point of view may be a positive contribution, and therefore share it.
Sometimes loudly.
I grant that I can be acerbic; perhaps inappropriately so at times. That, I probably should watch. I am really not out to hurt anyone's feelings or tear anyone down. Mostly I'm surprised anyone takes a single thing I say seriously at all. I'm not going to claim I'm not charmed, but I am surprised.
The caustic side comes from the Bill Hicks/George Carlin school of Socratic education: "If they're not going to listen... throw the intellectual equivalent of a rabid monkey with a knives duct-taped to all four paws at them and then just watch the fun."
I know it isn't nice... but it can be funny. And just as educational if people are willing to listen. And if you are just throwing rabid monkeys just for the sake of throwing rabid monkeys, perhaps you should be thinking more carefully about your own motivations?
Just dive safe, goddamn it. Inspire others to do the same. If you are going to be a mentor, know what the hell you're talking about first. If you are going to be a spokesperson, have some consensus behind you.
Listen to the community around you... if they're all saying one thing and you insist on another, yeah, maybe you're being a trailblazer... but you have to grant that just maybe you're being a stubborn prick.
Me? I know I'm a stubborn prick. And I'll keep ranting, if for no other reason, because it's cathartic and it gives me something to do on the subway. And I promise, it is coming from a good place.
I'll hope that it occasionally inspires people think critically about things; and I'll hope it doesn't really hurt anyone.
